All I Really Need to Know I Learned From My Cinnabon Addiction

First off, did you know that humming is essentially singing through your nose? I learned that tonight while humming a lullaby to Graham.

Second, I have a great nutrition tip. If you're trying to be healthier and there's something sinfully delicious like, oh, let's say a homemade imitation Cinnabon (the last of the batch), and it's lounging seductively in its Pyrex on your stove, oozing its siren song--a duet of butter and refined flour--you know how these things go, how the cinnamon goo pulls you in, the tub of cream cheese frosting a willing accomplice to the whole scandal  ... JUST SMASH THE WHOLE THING ONTO YOUR KITCHEN FLOOR.

crapslice.

Broken glass has a funny way of destroying even the most intense cravings. I think I've solved our nation's obesity crisis.

Silver lining: I don't have to clean the dish.

Pyrite lining: A couple months ago, in a foolish frenzy of "simplifying" my life by getting rid of "excess" "crap" "I'll never need," I gave away my two extra Pyrex dishes in this same size.

Golden lining: We finally cut off Graham's double mullet.

Pass the pomade, please.