Crackah Jack

You know what I never got? Cracker Jacks. They are gross. They smell like cigarette smoke. And the prizes inside? Super lame. Nathan is eating some Cracker Jacks right now, and his prize was a piece of paper with two bees printed on it that you are supposed to tape onto your pencil. They call it a "pencil topper." Ha!

My name is Sailor Jack, and I have a crappy prize for you! Also, the food I'm hawking is like little tar-coated balls of bird poo.

On a related note, I'm reading a book that discusses how marketers target children with spokescharacters. So not only does Sailor Jack sell junk, he's luring Graham into this shady business as well! Ensnaring him with pencil toppers and cheap rings and his little rabid dog, Bingo.

Moral: Don't let your kids play baseball.